Last Day of Stay-At-Home-Momhood

This is what I made for dinner on my last night of stay-at-home-momhood - a chicken pie with an olive oil mixed herb crust. The outcome certainly paled in comparison to the amount of work put in. Don't think I'll be using this recipe again, or if I do, I'll spice it up with some chili and more spices.

Anyway, I am hanging up and dusting off my apron as I type! *bows and walks off stage*

Heh heh.

What better way to sum up my last 18 months than with a little Dickens eh? To stretch the metaphor, the stay-home-mom/working-mom dichotomy is very much a tale of two cities...

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way - in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.

Next time I post, I'll be officially contributing to the economy!

What'll It Be?

A quick update from my trusty iPod... I'm meant to be returning to work on Wednesday. Five half days, 9 to 1 pm. I've had a beyond fantastic last three weeks to myself while Jordy spent the morning and early afternoon in childcare. The freezer is stocked with stews, soups, pizza bases, homemade burgers, Thai fish cakes, stock, heck, I even spent part of a morning browning lean beef mince in bulk so I can just pop it in the slow cooker for chili. I bought myself a new work bag, some new clothes, sorted out season parking at a nearby mall to work, even met up with colleagues to get a sense of what I'm returning to.

Anyway, all this is leading somewhere, please bear with me.

So then this morning Jordy woke up with a slight fever. Which then spiked and ebbed as the day went on. Highest recorded temp was 38.9. He's still eating well but is clearly not himself. Example, he was happy lying on my lap on the couch for half an hour while watching Baby Einstein! Anyway so now I'm not sure what's going to happen come Wednesday! Really hope he gets better soon... If not my first day of work might be a dependant care leave day!

Something tells me I'm being orientated pretty quickly to the world of working-parent-juggling. Argh!

Mullet Begone!

Jordy and his mullet enjoying Baby Einstein.

Jordy's mullet was beginning to have a life of its own (or at least deserving of its own nickname), so before things got too out of hand, D and I decided that today would be the day we embarked on Jordy's first milestone in hair removal.

I had no idea how he'd react - I've heard all kinds of horror stories, so was prepared to take things as they came. Armed with a little pair of scissors, and a vague idea of what sort of style I'd aim for, we began!

Not much of a reaction from the first snip!

I worked as swiftly and decisively as I could, taking out rather huge chunks of hair as I went along, as you can see below!

The tools of the trade!

And as quickly as it began, it ended. Barely two minutes! And now presenting, Master Jordy Version 2.0, sharper, sleeker and stylier. As D put it rather nicely, he's gone from lout to lad! Heh heh.

Jordy attests to the hypnotic effect of Baby Einstein.

Not a bad job if I can say so myself, ahem.

Obligatory back view

They Should Build a Roller Coaster Ride Called "Motherhood" (Or, Day Eight of Childcare!)

Today marks the eighth day that Jordy has been in childcare. And also the eighth day that I've experienced four seasons of emotions in one day.

The mornings start out like Spring; you wonder what the day will bring. Everything hints of possibility and new-ness. Jordy smiles and feasts on breakfast like the nestling that he is. We read some stories and play his favourite music.

An hour later and Jordy is dressed for childcare and suddenly Autumn is here. He seems slightly older in his yellow and blue outfit, and the spring in my step is suddenly gone, replaced with a little heaviness that mirrors the weight in my heart. The colours of the morning seem a little muted now.

He gets into the car happily enough, even smiles at his little robot backpack. We pull up the driveway of his little school and he senses the first frost in the air. He is tentative, but still puts on a brave face as we walk into the din that is morning drop-off time. He understands what is to happen when I remove his shoes and rub some insect repellent on him. He is in denial though, and only really cries out when he sees his teacher coming to get him. When she carries him into the Centre - and to his new routine in the day - Winter blasts its icy entrance into my heart and I always freeze for a moment. Don't move, lest he cries more. But then I regain my senses, and walk briskly to the car. Pause, deep breath, and drive off.

The next six hours pass in a bit of a blur - of activity, of emotion, of movement. I run errands, I catch up with friends, I watch a movie alone, I read in a cafe, have a pedicure, take my time while choosing produce at the market, I listen to a lot of music. Winter gradually gives way, warmth creeps back, Spring again.

Three o'clock. I pack a couple of his snacks, some sand toys, perhaps a ball, and drive to the centre, my heart beating a little faster than usual. I reverse park in the driveway, stop the car. Pause, deep breath. Wonder what he will be doing when I next lay eyes on him. What expression will be on his face.

Every single time I see him, he is always happy, always busy, and pretty content. His eyes widen with recognition, and he runs up to me. Never clinging, but always to show me something he's learnt, or a new favourite toy. This afternoon, it was a pasta music shaker he made himself. I leave him in Winter, and return in Summer.

And if there's one thing to remember, it's that kids have fun in Winter too.

Apron Strings and Other Things

First morning, dressed in his childcare kit, not knowing what lay ahead.

This is a bit of a bittersweet post. Hmm, maybe bitter is a little too harsh sounding. More of a semi-sweet post. Heck if this post was a chocolate bar, it'd be a Whittaker's 70% Ghanaian cocoa bar.

Apologies for the clumsy metaphor. What I mean is this: the last two days have seen me vacillating between emotional extremes. On one end, it's fear, anxiety, guilt, doubt, and these gut-wrenching regular twitches where my heart used to be; on the other, it's pride, liberation, love, and the great, overwhelming desire to WRAP MY ARMS AROUND something, preferably my child.

Yes, Jordy started childcare this week.

I thought I had psychologically prepared myself by reading a plethora of online articles from various mum and bub sites and working mum forums. I read the fantastic chapter on working mums in Kate Figes' Life After Birth. I was mentally prepared for the swirls of emotions they all said you'd feel. But alas I have learnt that the cerebral is no match for the visceral.

In plainer English, my brain thought I was ready and would be okay with my firstborn going to daycare for seven hours a day, but my insides rebelled and I suddenly found myself on day two after dropping him off, sitting in a car wash and crying. All this before 9.30am! The stuff they don't tell you about motherhood! (By the way, the car is clean and sparkly, so that's one good thing eh?)

Jordy's first day at Carpe Diem Kidz (yes, unfortunate spelling I know, but they have a petting zoo and tree house so there!) started at 8.3o and ended at noon. His second day started at 8.30 and ended at 2.45pm! My intention is to pick him up around 3pm everyday, once I go back to work.

In his more formal uniform for day two!

He did pretty well on both days, considering it was his first time being cared for by strangers after hanging out with me as his main caregiver these past 17 months! He started each morning cheerfully enough, clambering to get to the dining area to see what was being served for (second) breakfast - omelette yesterday, cereal this morning - then walking around the garden and looking at things. Both days he didn't cry when I said goodbye and walked away. But both days, I saw him look for me after I'd gone (I spied at him from afar of course) and then, when he was unable to find me, would start crying.

The teachers had to carry him for much of the first two days. Strange considering he normally hates to be carried.

D said a very insightful thing, that Jordy had been so secure previously, and that's why he was so independent and would walk and run all over the place and not ever asked to be carried. So he is probably craving the cuddling now that he is in an unfamiliar situation, and is not feeling all that secure. Do you hear my heart breaking yet?

Ah. But everything I've read has also led me to believe that it will be worse before it gets better. I'm expecting disrupted sleep at night, increase in tantrums, and perhaps, even weight loss if he doesn't eat as well in the next few weeks. I'm preparing myself but the realities are just so tough to face!

Anyway, don't get me wrong. It's not all doom and gloom. It's just that the challenges are so out there, so obvious, that I've had to address them first.

What I'm getting to is what I think will be the longer term benefits. The amazing toys and resources they have at the centre. The well-trained teachers who seem genuinely caring and compassionate. The presence of a dedicated Mandarin teacher (yay!), and of course, the fact that as Jordy is broadening his horizons and his world just a little, I'll be able to get back to the workforce! So I'm taking a long term view on things.

Having a little play at home before heading off this morning.

I'm going to keep this short as Outrageous Fortune beckons on DVD. But it's only the end of day two, and I'm already getting a little inkling of what lies ahead. I see in Jordy's future... a pile of school reports, much like the one below...

Isn't it fantastic? The teacher will prepare one every week to explain what the week's activities have been centred on, as well as what is to come.


And the very best thing? You turn over the report, and you get this!


Almost as good as being there? Perhaps not, but it certainly allows an overly-imaginative parent like me to keep a few images in my head.

These early childhood teachers do an amazing job. I salute them, as I do the wonderful kids who inspire them (I hope!).

Plagiarism Alert (Or, Somebody Stole My Blog Post!)

I just discovered another mummy blogger stole a couple of lines from a post I did about my day with Jordy.

She stole my opener.

I wrote this:

I was inspired by what Aunty Adora blogged about one time about her daily routine with your friend Poppy. It made me see the little wonders in our daily routine, simple and quiet as it may be. So I thought I'd just pen a little something about how our day normally goes right this moment. Just for posterity's sake.

And she wrote this:

"It made me see the little wonders in our daily routine, simple and quiet as it may be. So I thought I 'd just pen down a little something about how our day used to be. Just for posterity's sake."

And she stole my closing. I wrote this:

It's a simple life Jordy. But rather charmed. Magically real, or really magic.

And she wrote this:

"So that's it. Our life before work. It's a simple life, M****. But rather charmed. Magically real with simple happiness and bliss."

I don't know whether to be flattered or flabbergasted.

Now. I am OK with borrowed references. I after all, have used a few ideas from other bloggers but have always credited the source. In fact, my post on a day in the life of Jordy was inspired by Adora's post. That's OK. That's all part of the creative process. But to just STEAL someone's words and cunningly dump them in your blogpost? NOT OK. NO, SCHMO.

My only consolation is that it is obvious the blogger in question has plagiarised as the rest of the blogpost is riddled with grammar mistakes and structural lapses.

And the worst thing? The mum stole my words to describe a day in the life with her daughter. I think that's the saddest, most unoriginal thing I've seen in a while.

BAH.

Off to the Chocolate Cafe with Sandy and Olive soon. Will need a good chocolate tart to get rid of the bitter taste in my mouth!

Jordy Eats With a Fork!

For some reason, this wouldn't load in Firefox, but was no problems in IE. Hmm... Anyway, it's meant to accompany the previous post. Enjoy!