Education Revisited

Hello blogworld!

I know, I know. No sound or movement on this site for more than six months. The usual excuses don't quite cut it. Too busy, too exhausted, watching too much TV (Mad Men, Treme, Outrageous Fortune, now Downton Abbey), other (ad)ventures keeping me busy, oh and of course the fact that I work full-time and have a kid! Heh.

Well, am reviving this for a day as I'm at a social media course. Yes another one. Am becoming very wired, in the best sense of the word!

OK, gotta go back to student mode, and in tribute, here's a tribute to education. Or the need to rethink it in the age of the cloud.

Blogging and the working mum

Well, it seems my complete silence corresponds with my starting full time work in October! I'm starting to figure out a new routine and so far so good! Thank god for an understanding workplace that let's me leave at 4pm most days to go pick up Jordy. So really, the key differences to before embarking on full-time work, is that I now have less time to cook and do chores. Which means weekdays, Jordy gets mainly reheated frozen food, I alternate between a chicken and brocolli noodle thing, spag bog with 5 veg sauce, various veg soups n cheese and marmite sandwiches, Mac and cheese, and easy cook dishes like bee boon soup with tofu. The house is slightly messier, but other than that there hasn't been too discernible a difference!

My craziest working mum moment to date must have been on Thursday, which happened to be The Biggest Media Announcement Day of the Year. We'd just run a media conference that morning that saw everyone turn up (biggest turnout to date), the rest of the day was spent fielding many media queries. When I got home with Jordy that afternoon, I was pretty much doing a one woman Hindu goddess juggling act. At one memorable point, just before D got home, I was simultaneously on speaker phone with a reporter from The Straits Times and changing a poopy diaper while filling up the bath! *bows courteously*

The best thing? The journalist was a mom too and totally identified with the constant juggling that is working motherhood. And we shared a moment in between talking about trackable donations to religious organsations!

But that's the thing I'm so relishing at the moment. That by day, I get to do something I think is pretty meaningful, something which I truly believe will make Jordy's generation happier - I mean, promoting volunteering and philanthropy in Singapore is a pretty cool job to have. Then when I go pick up jordy at 5 and go hangout at the playground then have dinner, I'm doing the most important job of all. So despite the daily adrenalin rush of just keeping things together, I think I'm in a pretty sweet spot right now...

Oh well, it's only been six weeks in this new routine. And I've only managed to blog ONCE. Well, it's a start and the camel diaries is back again! Refreshed, revitalized, and still manic as ever!

Powerpoints Aren't Just for Work

Man am I glad it's Friday. Just emerged from a rather frantic few weeks at work, culminating in a major event on Wednesday. Had my longest day yet as a working mum, leaving the house on Wednesday at 7.30am (D dropped Jordy off that morning), and then rushing from work later that day (after issuing a post-event media release no less) to pick Jordy up at 5.10pm from childcare. Officially his longest day yet!

And what did he do when I dashed into his playschool, looking pretty beat up and with fading make-up? He ran towards me with a big chuckle and said, "AMAZY MUMMY!"

Did my heart do a double-lurch and almost leap out of my body in his toddler arms? You bet it did!

Anyway, I know I've been posting heaps of videos of late, but with my new phone, it makes it all so seamless I just can't resist. One of Jordy's favourite pasttimes for a while now has been looking at homemade powerpoint slides with me. I have my fabulous sister to thank for that. She did up a bunch of themed slides which her boys enjoyed, then thumb drived them to me one time. I've since added some content to the slides, especially the Food themed one (with all of Jordy's favourite things). Anyway, his undisputed favourite is the one on nature. Something about the elemental forces of nature call out to that boy of mine!

His other favourite is one on the family, oh and not forgetting the one on insects. What is it with boys and creepy crawlies? If you listen carefully, you'll be able to make out the crazy things he can say now ("centipede!").

Oh and we have yet another first happening tomorrow. Jordy's first sleepover at gong gong and mama's! Woo hoo! D and I are going to catch Toy Story 3 (hopefully... we haven't booked tickets yet) and go for dinner after. Jordy is so ready for this. He spends a lot of his day looking around the house saying "see gong gong!", "see mama!" or "no more gong gong!" "no more mama!". Ah well, the age of the grandparent is here! Haha...

And only two-odd weeks to Mama Maree's arrival! Can't wait!

The Toddler Approach to Managing Conflict

Last week at work was crappy for me. Prior to that I'd had a honeymoon run of two and a half months where I was literally humming to myself while driving to work, smiling at the thought of the work day that lay ahead. Feeling really happy that I was adding value and able to contribute and was working with an amazing team of people. The rain clouds had to gather at some stage.

In a nutshell, a colleague holding a more senior position at work ranted at me for almost an hour, over what seemed to be an invented issue, working herself up into an emotional state in the process, and not allowing me a word in edge-wise (quite hard to do, but it was done!). Scary thing? I'd barely had three conversations with this person!

Anyway, this post isn't about the actual unpleasant rant - I've got boundaries in this blog, one of which is not to discuss work in too much detail. Wouldn't want to be dooced.

Instead, it's inspired by something D said when I related the surreal incident to him. He said the colleague in question sounded like she was throwing a toddler tantrum. Which led me to conceptualise the following management theory:

The Toddler Approach to Managing Conflict

Hypothetical scenario: You are sitting peacably at your desk, concentrating hard on drafting a media release. Suddenly, a colleague appears from behind you and asks you whether it was true that you had commented about project XYZ at a meeting where the bosses were present. If it is true, then she is very unhappy that you had even given an opinion about project XYZ, as project XYZ was hers and no one, repeat, no one, was allowed to talk about it, except for her. Your colleague stops to breathe at this point, and you are about to say, "I'm sorry if you are upset about what I said. I was giving an opinion as the bosses had asked me what I thought was needed for project XYZ to get good publicity from the media. I gave them a few suggestions to consider, and that was that." But you are unable to as she quickly resumes her monologue, but this time talking increasingly faster, louder, and you notice, worryingly, that her eyes have welled up in tears and she is turning a slight purply-red. She is also stabbing her index finger awfully close to your nose. People are gathered discreetly outside your office to be entertained. What do you do?

Possible solution: If you are a parent, picture your toddler where your colleague is. Bring yourself back to a particularly intense tantrum, say, the one where your son refused to stop screaming and crying because you took the plastic knife with the serrated edge away from him, and gave him a wooden spoon instead. Place yourself squarely in that moment, where your son's cries grow louder and louder, accompanied by foot stamping, and ends in him throwing not just the spoon, but his whole body on the floor in a shuddering heap. Now, react.

Not all reactions will be the same of course, but a possibly common one would take this shape:

1. You physically distance yourself from your colleague.

2. Your voice and demeanour grow more dispassionate as hers grows more hysterical.

3. You slow down the rhythm of your speech, and speak in as calm a tone as you possibly can muster.

4. You say in a quiet, steady voice that you will only engage with said colleague/toddler when said colleague/toddler has calmed down and stopped crying.

5. In the meantime, you tell said colleague/toddler that you will be in the next room, and that you are there for her/him.

6. You walk away, and wait. If you are lucky, you get to read a few pages of People Magazine.

7. Colleague/toddler calms down. Life continues on.

-----------------------------------------------------

I'm so going to adopt this approach next time something like this happens to me (hopefully not too often. It's so draining!). Thanks so much to D for sparking this idea, and to Jordy for the regular role-plays!

On that note, I'm off to watch Episode 4 of The Wire Season 1. So amazingly good!

Notes from an (Incredibly Overdue) Exhibition (Or, A Very Long Hiatus)

Collage #1: Dated from the morning of 6 March 2010, this nuanced piece of work shows a boy and his car as they go off on adventures in the park. Notice the subtle hints of colour linking boy and car, the green a tribute both to the naturalistic setting, as well as to the snot flowing freely from the boy who has caught yet another bug while at daycare. The splashes of red allude not just to the fiery personality of the male subject, but also to the broader context of transport - note how the boy's shoes and his car's wheels are an almost identical shade of red.

Sorry to all for the long silence on this poor neglected blog!

The weeks have passed in a whirr of work, play, and rest. Jordy is now very settled in childcare after four weeks of tears in the morning (that gradually went from distraught "what happened to mum and what on earth am I doing in this noisy, crowded place?!" cries, to half-hearted "waah i don't want mum to go, hey isn't that a cool bird in the cage, hmm I wonder what I'm going to have for breakfast" cries.)

It was amazing to watch him gradually get more comfortable and secure at childcare. And on the Monday of the fifth week, he happily marched in, let me take of his shoes, grabbed his water bottle, and WALKED STRAIGHT IN. Without looking back. On the Tuesday, he turned back and waved goodbye and SMILED! I almost fainted from shock but stood as if like a smiling pillar of salt, one hand raised in a big wave. And on Wednesday, he laughed as the teacher checked his temperature and sanitised his hands, waved and again walked in. It's been like that since and we are now into the seventh week at childcare!

I wish I could capture this precise moment in our lives, because it honestly feels like we've achieved a lovely balance. Jordy seems to be happy at his playschool, he eats and rests well there (he's known as as "third helping" boy, and settles for his two hour nap very easily, doesn't even need patting to sleep!), he's learning new things everyday (e.g. he now knows how to pump a soap bottle, take some soap in his hands and wash them!, he dances to "If you're happy and you know it stamp your feet" and "Ring a ring a roses") and settles back into homelife pretty well after school.

As for me, I'm loving being back at work. I thought I would feel some kind of disconnect, or at least experience some jarring moments here and there. But truthfully? It probably took me a day to transition back to work, I don't really feel like a fish out of water, and it's amazing how wearing nice clothes, some lip gloss and slipping on a pair of heels can transform how you feel inside. And the other thing? I'm loving getting back on the exercise bandwagon. It's gym day and swim day for now, but I may look to add a "walk up Fort Canning Hill" day to the week. But I'm easing into it.

Weekends are more precious, and I probably enjoy my time with Jordy more now, as I have time to miss him. One of the girls asked me at dinner last night if I thought about Jordy a lot at work, and again, honestly? I don't really. I think it's because I work only four hours a day and in those four hours, I feel like I'm making every minute count work-wise. It's like I'm a living PR Agency time sheet where I can account for my time for each project I'm working on! Anyway I'm only into my fifth week back at work so ask me again in a few months and you might get a different answer.

Which brings me back to how I wish I could freeze this moment 'cos it's feeling pretty sweet.

As a tribute to a recent book I read, the excellent Notes from an Exhibition by (the ridiculously good looking) Patrick Gale, I present to you, more notes from an (incredbly overdue) exhibition. All artwork created and curated only this morning!

Still Life #1: Boy and DVD player. This muted scene barely conceals the rich undertones simmering beneath the surface. The boy's eyes are raised to the artist, as if inviting admonishment. This picture paints a visual puzzle in the form of the missing DVD. Where has it gone? Who has taken it? And for what purpose? We are left wondering, even as the boy's right hand curls protectively round his water cannister. But wait, what is hidden in the boy's other hand? Could it be...

A Study in Animism: Here, the boy is shown in a rare state of spiritual reverie. Eyes downcast, he is at peace with the natural world, his energies and intent focused on the green car wrapped in his hands. He is also bowing in the direction of McCafe, which is the traditional scene of post-play replenishment and redjuvenation.

Mother and Child: Through the ages, the mother and child prove to be an enduring subject for artists. In this case, the mother points out the myriad kites gliding through the sky to her firstborn. Excited, he raises his hands and says triumphantly, the word "Geh!"

Still Life #2: Boy scanning the horizon. In this closer study of the Everyboy, he is once again clad in green, set against the backdrop of the urban/natural dichotomy - in this case, the maritime/oceanic split. Notice his resolute half-smile as he ponders what is to come, determined to tackle head on whatever comes his way.

Confessions of a Working Mother

The Dragon and the Rat on the first day of the Tiger year. Rrrroar!

1. I am currently loving both my jobs: my paid job in an office in the city with a view of the Singapore River, and my unpaid job as mum to toddler extraordinaire Jordy.

2. I lay out my outfit, complete with accessories and shoes, the night before work. I feel like I am in primary school again!

3. The mornings still feel pretty relaxed - we wake a little before Jordy does, shower and have breakfast, then Jordy gets up, and I feed him, then I get dressed and prepare his day care stuff while he watches a bit of Baby Einstein. We leave the house at 8.15am, he's settled in school by 8.30 and I'm at work by 9!

4. I love the walk along the river to work. I park my car in a nearby mall (where season parking is relatively cheap for the city: $90+ a month!).

5. Once I hit work it's pretty much non-stop go until I log off again at 1pm. Today marks the end of my sixth day at work and I've already handled one media query on my own, on an initiative new to me, but that I didn't have much problem coming to grips with. I don't think I'm overstating it, but I already feel like I'm contributing and do feel valued. It's an awesome feeling.

6. I love the walk back to the car after work, along the river again. I have an hour or so to run errands, grocery shop, start dinner, listen to my iPod - generally ME time - before I pick Jordy up at 3.30pm. As of next week, I am going to incorporate exercise into my new routine. I am aiming for one gym session on a Monday, and a 10-lap swim on a Wednesday or Thursday. The gym and pool are but one escalator ride away from the office (in pretty stunning surroundings) so there is NO excuse. I am taking a leaf out of Michelle Obama's guide to motherhood - place your children first, and yourself a very, very close second.

7. In order to fit in gym and swim into new working mom routine, I will have to pack lunch in. I am thinking a penne/pesto/broccoli/cherry tomato cold salad one day, and leftovers (bleagh) another. If not, there is always Subway downstairs or the foodcourt.

8. I love, love, love the anticipation I feel when I drive into the school gates to pick Jordy up. And I love how everytime I've gone to pick him up, he's engrossed in an activity - be it finger painting, dancing in a circle (here we go round the mulberry bush), and just today, I walked in and saw him playing with water balloons! He still cries every morning, but it is no longer distraught, and dare I say it, "normal" separation anxiety emotions that he will work through in time. It is also less painful for me to drive away. Sometimes, in the morning, when the teacher takes him, he cries a bit, then forgets himself, and smiles when she points out the chirpy parakeet out to him. That's when I know that things will work out OK.

9. At the end of the day, though I know I'm not earning big bucks or have a career on fast track, the sense of accomplishment I get from wearing these different hats, and juggling these heavy (metaphorical) porcelain vases like a Chinese acrobat, is proving pretty priceless.

10. I know it's early days yet, but I think things bode well so far. And if things don't turn out that great, then in the words of a wise mum before me, everything is reversible.